Thursday, March 30, 2006

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21! Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME = 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.

What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day! is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there.

Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them".
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Here's one I think you will like:
http://www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

17 Comments:

At 3:40 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

excellent tips, I see people from 50 looking younger than others who just turned 31.
It's all in the attitude.

 
At 10:34 AM, Blogger kasamba said...

LOL! Girlfriend, I know where you are coming from! As someone who is pushing 40 (away I hope) I must agree with Prag and say that it's all in the 'tude!
I wish I knew then what I know now!

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger Big Dave T said...

Cute cartoon. I very rarely forward e-mails, regardless of the content. So I'm doomed in so many ways.

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Drywall Mom said...

I try not to think of age at my age. I still want to act like a kid.

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger DayByDay4-2Day said...

I rememebr that one, always funny!

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Very funny!! I loved the guy on his soapbox too. It's so true. I get those stupid e-mails all the time, "Send this to 10 people or you'll have 10 years bad luck."
Pttth!!

 
At 3:01 PM, Blogger angel, jr. said...

I'm never going to get old. I'll continue to act like I'm 21. It isn't hard, I've got the male factor going for me.

 
At 3:45 PM, Anonymous Nettie said...

I'm almost 21!

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger Tab said...

Oh I love it!
We really are only as old as we feel and think we are!! hehehe

 
At 1:21 AM, Blogger Lavender Dawn said...

Thats cute!

 
At 10:18 AM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

ROTFL...

Yes, I can remember being a kid and wanting to grow up. Now, I wish it were possible to count backwards!

 
At 4:24 PM, Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

Yes and when you reach past 40 you start wanting to look young. Isn't this funny? Life is really fun to live.

 
At 11:17 PM, Blogger Live, Love, Laugh said...

lol! Great post!!!

 
At 3:22 PM, Blogger Oh great One said...

Age doesn't bother me much. I still feel like a goofy kid!

 
At 1:05 AM, Blogger Merle said...

Hi Lucy ~~ The old age problem is still
with us. I try to be happy at whatever
age I am at. Have had lots of practice
as I am 71, almost 72. Try to grow old
gracefully is how I kook at it.
Thanks for your comment on Herons Nest -
"what goes around" -- comes around.
Cheers, Merle

 
At 6:39 AM, Blogger keesh said...

True. So True!!

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger Jennyta said...

My dad, who is 82 often says that inside he still feels 18 - then he looks in the mirror! :) I'm beginning to understand what he means!

 

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