Monday, December 12, 2005

Elephant Stew

Recipe by: Sally Cawood

TF and I had dinner last night with a friend. We were sitting there talking about favorite recipes when she ran for her recipe box. She says: “I love this recipe” and she proceeded to read the ingredients. We were rolling on the floor with laughter and I begged her to let me post it. So here it is:

Elephant Stew

1 – Elephant
2 – Rabbits (optional)
Salt and Pepper to taste
500 gallons of brown gravy

Cut the elephant into bit sized pieces. This should take about 2 months. Add enough brown gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees. This will serve 3,800 people. If more are expected, 2 rabbits may be added but do this only if necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.

As she was reading the list of ingredients, my minds eye was envisioning the size of the pot that would hold the stew. All I could see was an African jungle with one of those big black pots and the “mom” was standing on a ladder stirring her stew with a huge spoon. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Actually if this had been my recipe, I would have added a couple of hundred pounds of potatos, carrots, onions and other seasonings. But its' not my recipe so experiment as you wish.

As a matter of note: My Herb & Spice order came in late Friday night. The UPS man put the boxes on the front porch, rang the door bell and ran for his truck. TF and I dragged in five huge boxes. Bubba, my cat, became very interested in one of the boxes. She decided that it was her box and she sat on it constantly. Well, I started opening the boxes to inventory the items before dividing them up for individual groups. I got to Bubba’s box and discovered that there were two bags of catnip on the very top. Evidentially Bubba could smell that catnip right thru the box. I actually had to put her outside so that I could finish inventorying the order. By the way that was the biggest order we have ever done, it was just over $ 1,000. Our den looked like a store. I had spices everywhere. As of now, I only have one more order to put together and I am done till next year. Ahhhhh…The house smells like heaven.

Holiday Travel Savings:

Christmas Gift Baskets:

How To install a wireless security system:
Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dog dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an hr. Don't disturb the Pitbulls, they've just been wormed."


At 7:04 AM, Blogger Fred said...

No problem getting an elephant, some rabbits, salt and pepper. But, where can I get all that gravy?

At 10:44 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

Sounds like your family can expect some new and exciting food on their plates with an order like that!

At 11:22 AM, Blogger puremood said...

I would *have* to have potatoes, too!! Yum.

At 12:52 PM, Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Fred - You make the gravy from scratch.

Pragmatician - Only about $ 26.00 of that order was mine.

Puremood - If you are going to go to all that trouble to make a giant stew, at least make it tasty.

At 1:53 PM, Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

sounds like you've got some big plans.
i myself, after reading this, am thinking of becoming vegetarian.

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Corry said...

I think this was hilarious!

Enjoy your meal!

God's Grace.

At 5:13 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

We're having guests Friday evening and my wife wants me to find a good recipe for a dessert.
Do you have any interesting links for me, where I could dig up some cake or ice cream recipes?

At 10:24 AM, Blogger Lucy Stern said...

BSTS - I would too if I had to cook for that many people.

Corry - I thought it was funny too, that's why I posted it. Hope it gave you a good laugh.

pragmatcian - Hummmm....A favorite dish in our household is Chocolate Pudding pie:

1 - Grahamn Cracker Crust
1 - 5.25 oz. box of "cook and serve" chocolate pudding. (store brand is OK)
2 & 2/3rds - cups of Milk
1 Tbl. - Butter (margarine if you don't have butter)
1/3 cup - simi sweet chocolate chips
Cool Whip, optional

In a sauce pan add: chocolate pudding mix, milk and butter. Stir on medium heat until it starts to thicken. Add the chocolate chips and continue to still for a couple of minutes. When is starts to boil a little, you can pour it into the grahamn cracker crust. Let it sit on the side board till it cools a bit and then cover with the plastic top that comes on the grahamn cracker crust and put in the refrigator. Must chill about 3 hour before serving. Top with cool whip. Yummmm. My kids love this recipe.

If none of these recipes will work, then go to Yahoo and hunt.

If you want a cake, our favorite recipe is a (boxed) Devilsfood chocolate cake w/ pudding in the mix. Follow directions for the bundt cake.
Top (when cool) with this glaze:
In a small saucepan, combine 2 Tbl. cocoa, 1 Tbl. + 2 tea. water, and 1 Tbl. corn syrup. Cook and stir over low heat until misture is smooth. Remove from heat: immediately beat in 1 cup powdered sugar. Drizzle over cake.
Bonnie asks for this cake every birthday.

For Ice Cream: Get your favorite vanilla ice cream recipe. Purchase, from the freezer section, some frozen black berries or mixed fruit. Put the berries in a bowl and microwave for 2 minutes. Pour over the ice cream immediately before serving. Fantistic mix of flavors. It will be a big hit.

At 2:52 PM, Blogger Nettie said...

Now, this I can do!

At 3:22 PM, Blogger Running2Ks said...

That alarm system is perfect!

At 4:39 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

Thanks for these great selections. I'll print them out and show them to my wife.
I'll let you know how it worked out. Thank You

At 6:18 AM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You are truly the queen of recipes!

I am in awe of your collection.

Your imagination for the elephant and rabbit recipe, which is so funny, even shows your creativity in the kitchen!

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Canadian Dude said...

I love the alarm system.

At 12:10 AM, Blogger Mountain Mama said...

Elephant Stew! This reminds me of an old story about Stone Soup which I first heard in grade school, many years ago.

At 2:33 AM, Blogger Live, Love, Laugh said...

You are nuts!!! I loved this recipe, I just read your install a security system to a fellow officer, he really laughed!!

At 2:41 AM, Blogger Liquidplastic said...

I can't help but laugh, at myself first, because until I got down to the instructions I actually thought it was a real recipe. You are too funny.

I love your security suggestion, it fit my budget perfectly!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you and your love ones.


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