Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Some old blond jokes.

BLONDE LOGIC - Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking.......and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida..?????"

SPEEDING TICKET - A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday, you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!!!"

RIVER WALK - There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,"You ARE on the other side..."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE - A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it."Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."The redhead took her finger, pushed her elbow and screamed. She pushed her kneeand screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere shetouched made her scream.The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde.""I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken..."

KNITTING - A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!""NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!!!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN - A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads."You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.To which the Blonde replied, "Duh, we're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!!!"

IN A VACUUM - A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off???"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! - A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?""HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!!!"

Thanks Bro. Sutton for the Blonde Jokes...

15 Comments:

At 4:08 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Lucy, they were fabulous, some i hadn't heard before! Thanks for the smile :)

 
At 6:42 AM, Blogger TNChick said...

There are SO many blone jokes - manny of those I hadn't heard. LOL!!

 
At 6:43 AM, Blogger TNChick said...

By the way, How is Roxie doing?! I am sure she is fully recovered now?

 
At 6:53 AM, Blogger Mitey Mite said...

New jokes!!! Love it!

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Lucy Stern said...

These were some cute jokes...

TNChick - Roxie is doing fine. She has healed well. How about Zoey?

 
At 8:00 AM, Blogger Bathroom Hippo said...



You stole Snoopy's dog dish!


 
At 8:16 AM, Blogger Oh great One said...

Gotta love NEW blond jokes! Thanks!

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger DayByDay4-2Day said...

my good friend when I met her was a brunette as the years went by her hair got lighter. Until one day I pointed out that she was blonder then me. Last time I looked she was a brunette again.
Wuz up with that???
:)

 
At 2:22 PM, Blogger Top100WorkAtHome.com said...

Ha! Love the new ones.. sent them to my AUNT! :)

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Texas_Ivy10 said...

I loved them! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it today!

 
At 3:05 PM, Blogger Maddy said...

"There was a blonde on one side
of the river, and a redhead on
the other. The redhead calls
out "How do I get to other side of
the river?"
and the blonde answers...
"You're ALLREADY on the other
side!""

Smiles!

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger Jahn said...

Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
..It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
...They're too hard to retrain.

What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle?
...A dope ring.

Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
...Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.

What do you call a smart blonde?
..A golden retriever

What's the definition of eternity?
...4 blondes at a 4-way stop.

What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
...An airpocket.

What do you call a basement full of blondes?
..A whine cellar.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
..."This goes In Front."

What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
..."Oh, look!! Donut seeds!

Ane my personal fave:
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

A: 15. One to mix the dough and 14 to peel the M&Ms.

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Glad you all enjoyed the blone jokes and that a few of you submitted some of your own. Thanks!

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Marel Lecone said...

The doctor one had me giggling first. Very funny. :)

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

Oh these were so funny! Since my wife isn't a blond I can induldge!
Thanks!

 

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